Sermons In Time

If You Had Been There

Living With the Down Side of Life

Gospel: John 11:1-7, 20-27

If the story about the man born blind is one of the richest stories in the Gospel of John (and I think it is) then the story of Lazarus is one of the more difficult ones. I have dealt with this story previously, but always find it a bit awkward to deal with Lazarus, and especially in connection with the death and resurrection of Jesus. Personally, I find it difficult to make the connection between the two - Jesus and Lazarus.

On the other hand, there is about the story a great deal of human emotion, which bears looking at closely. It appears that the family was truly a good friend of Jesus, and to hear about the last illness of a good friend is not the most pleasant message to be given at any time. It is interesting to me how word came to Jesus about the seriousness of Lazarus, and the imminence of his death. It sounds like the kind of time you would naturally "call all of the relatives" and Jesus would be one of those called. It also sounds like the kind of time when one would do all in their power to "get there" before death took place. How many of us have had the experience of "being called" when death was near. As we look back across the years, that "unexpected-expected night call" has come only too often, and we have left whatever we were doing just to be present when death came.

It seems strange, doesn't it, to see the response of Jesus to the word that came? The sisters sent Jesus the message: "Lord your dear friend, Lazarus is sick." Yet, when he heard the news, he stayed in the place where he was for two more days. Now, the Interpretation that is given for this delay seems to be a set up for the act of restoring the life of his dead friend. On the other hand, it was really not safe for Jesus to return to Judea, and the question about the wisdom of going back is asked. Whatever the motive of the delay, Jesus did not rush out to get to the home of his good friends. In fact, when he finally arrived, the first words of Martha, the one who seems to be free to be outspoken, are: "If You had been here..." and the story goes on.

It occurs to me that the original interpretations that have been given to the story are all appropriate. Goodness knows, the Biblical scholars have looked at this story in relation to the death of our Lord for all the years of the Church's history. But it also occurs to me that there is something very personal, very Intimate about this story that one is liable to miss if we only relate it to the death and resurrection of Jesus.

I'd like to rummage around in the story from another standpoint all together this morning. I'd like for all of us to be those who have come to be with the family, and to live closely to those who are gathered in a time of great sorrow.

It is not too much to ask that we remember that Jesus wept when he came to this house of his friend. Mary also found it necessary to weep as well. For us who gather with the family, it will not be Inappropriate if there are also tears in our eyes. We come into the presence of death and sorrow respectfully, but we also bring with us our own experiences of sorrow, and know that grief is not far from the life of any one of us.

Here is a place in which one is free to grieve. Such a place is not often found in our world. I sometimes wonder if it just might be possible for there to be less anger, less stress, fewer cross words, more understanding if it were possible to express our sorrow with one another a bit more freely.

Recently I have seen two movies that are doing very well in the reviews and in general acceptance in our world. One, I mentioned last week, "Driving Miss Daisy." I was pleased that it won the Oscar for the best picture of the year for 1989. The other was "Steel Magnolias" - a title which is almost an oxymoron: you think of the women of the South as having a bit of the Magnolia Blossom about their demeanor, and to have them be as strong as Steel is a bit out of character for the "Old South." But the combination is appropriate. The story is about strong, gentle women who are very close to one another, and who share the suffering of one of their number who loses a child in death. And they are able to share tears, and there is tenderness about the frailty of life that is very inspiring, and there is sadness about losing that frail life which is very humane.

The two movies are important not because they are box office hits, but because they speak of the importance of life in a very tender way. They walk through the "down side of life" very respectfully, and they remind us of how important community and friendship really are to our living together as people.

I have to believe that for John, as much as he wanted to put the emphasis on the theologically profound comparison. At the heart of what he had to say was a deep appreciation for the tenderness of being a guest in the home where hurt and pain were very real and very deep.

The interesting thing is that the Oscar presentation the other night was almost a revolutionary event. All of the movies that were nominated this year were significant. Born on the 4th of July was a grim and moving reminder that the pain of Vietnam is still very much with us as a society, and My Left Foot apparently is an excellent portrayal of the life of a Cerebral Palsied man, and done In great taste.

Here the contrast is graphically important. There have been so many movies done in which horror, violence, and inhumane motifs have prevailed, one wants to say, "Thank God!" Perhaps, Just perhaps, the world is bearing witness to the courage and strength which is possible when life is truly difficult and real.

I am no better prepared to explain why Jesus did not go to Judea when he heard about the sickness of his friend than you are, but it does raise important questions. One of the responses which seems to me to be very important is that I do not see his delay as in any way related to hard-heartedness. He is sad when he arrives. He is appropriately supportive to Martha and Mary. All of the Interpretation seems to almost be imposed on the setting of a very human experience.

But one of the ways in which it can be seen is that Jesus did not feel a need to "Get there" in order to complete unfinished business. It is almost as if he could say, "It's O.K." “My friend Lazarus has finished the course, he has kept the faith, and our relationship is complete.”

I wish it were possible for none of us to ever have to go through the kinds of struggles where there is sadness, where there is pain, and most of all where there is aloneness. I really do feel for Martha. For her to say, "If You had been here…" is a very moving confession. She wanted him to be close. But the important thing is that he wasn't there. Lazarus went ahead and died. If the relationships of life are such that all the work between people has been done, then there is no guilt, there are no regrets, there is no animosity when presence is not there in those crucial times of life which are so important for support to be present.

One of the important understandings of the Gospel for me, personally, is that God is with us in the down times of life. The Gospel story begins in Matthew with the assurance that “God is with us,” and the book of Revelation makes "The dwelling of God is with men" one of the final affirmations of the New Testament. The way in which we seek to express that is to be the living embodiment of that presence when there is someone going through one of those down times. But the reality is that it doesn't always happen. I have been very sensitive to the fact that during the past six weeks there have been several persons who have gone through difficult times and the pastor was not there. I do not apologize for that absence, given the circumstances. But it does not take away the desire to have shared that moment with those who were in need.

Having said all that has been said, One still hears the words of Martha: "If you had been there…" They do stand as one of the very great witnesses to the importance of our relationship to each other. Let us not excuse ourselves for any reason from being devoted to being that kind of presence on behalf of one another. I firmly believe that nothing can take the place of "Being there" when someone is going through a "down" experience. One of the rich parts of that kind of commitment is that it is not age related, it has nothing to do with any of the "standards" of society for excellence or competence.

For example, let me go back to "Steel Magnolias" just for a moment. One of these dear souls is a young woman who seems at times to just not quite have it all together. But when the friend is down, she comes through with all her crudeness in a most delightful way, and affirms her faith, and her love for the friend, and is totally appropriate in all she says. Why? Because she is "totally there" with her!

We all have times when life is down. At those times, we hope and pray that there will be support present for us. What is so important for us to know is that we can be that presence for someone else. And just to know that the willingness is there, that the offer has been made is halfway home.

No, Martha, Jesus was not there when you thought it would have to been helpful for him to be with you. But remember he came. And when he came, it was a time of sharing, a time of gladness in the midst of your sorrow. There is nothing to compare with that kind of friend.

amen

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